Foiled Again

I’m of a merry morning disposition, and somehow I’ve blithered through life without adding enemies as a result.

On Monday, I stopped by one office to ask how their weekend went. They asked about mine.

“Oh, I killed someone this weekend,” I said.

They laugh.

I decide to take this as them not believing me, and not as a sign of severe psychosis. One woman says, “Lucky you,” and I leave.

A few hours later, I’m hard at work, and another colleague stops by my office. Gives me a meaningful look. Along glare-lines.

“I come in here, spill my soul, and you… you don’t even tell me??”

Color me confused. He prods.

“What you did this weekend….?”

Mind you, hours have passed. And I say many things in a day. AND, I spend every weekend doing the exact same thing: writing. And it doesn’t help that he’s waving around a giant pen in his fury.

He prods again. “Who did you kiss?”

I stare. I blink. I flip.

“I didn’t KISS anyone??! I KILLED THEM!!!! OMG, who TOLD you that? I KILLED–KILLED! Doesn’t anyone LISTEN???”

I turn to dial the office. He begs me not to, coz they’ll know he told me.

“I cannot have them telling people I KISSED someone this weekend, when I KILLED them. People will THINK things!”

… I should probably conclude by mildly noting that I did not kill anyone either. But it’s one thing to wholly misrepresent oneself, and another thing entirely to have one’s misrepresentation misrepresented.

That is my profound take-home for the week. Bury it in your gardens, and may it sprout a tree of eternal confused truths. And may you pick leaves in your dreams.

Everything is absolutely normal.

Everything is absolutely normal.


About sputnitsa

Born in the US, I grew up in Africa and the West Indies, and returned stateside in my teens. I've worked in international development, social justice and democracy work, and inclusivity training both domestically and overseas. I have served in Peace Corps, where I experienced my first Russian invasion, after which I volunteered with refugees and mentored youth. I vacation climbing minarets and mountains, as well as exploring theaters, museums and parks. Here in New York, I produce short films, direct short plays, and write.
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