So I was moving stuff around in the apartment today. You know, to feel productive. (J, if you’re reading this: SURPRISE!)
Anyway, I stepped on something. The kind of thing that makes you shut your mouth way tight, scrunch up your face and grab your foot. I don’t even know what the bleep that thing is. Some sort of star-shaped nail. Who needs a star-shaped nail???
After I removed it from my poor foot, I clutched the dear appendage to me and hopped to the freezer. Where, of course, I grabbed the vodka.
So far this is all familiar to you, right? You do this too, right? This is your first response too, right?
I take your silence as agreement of the most fervent kind.
Then I completed my acrobatic tour of the apartment, hopping from the kitchen to the bathroom, whereupon I plunged my foot into a stream of the coldest water known to man. Once I recovered from the shock enough to kind of clean it, I opened the vodka, took a test sip, and poured it on my foot.
You do this too, right?
My foot feels better. Colder, too.
Ahem. You DO do this, right?