Congratulations to Me on My Upcoming Nuptials! :)

Before you send me greetings or astounded messages, let me clarify:  I’m not getting married.

However, I have been receiving congratulatory texts for the past three months, not to mention messages on my phone to remind me of my dress fitting.  More than one bridesmaid has left me a message regarding her dress.  And finally, today, the icing on top of the cupcake.  I just got invited to a Cubs game.

Why is that the icing?  Because, while there is, I will concede, a tiny chance that I might get married in the near future (near in this case meaning within the next five to ten years), there was before today a precisely 0.0000000000000000000000000000000001% chance that I would willingly go to any professional sports game.  Whatever sports game the Cubs play.  Particularly with a complete stranger.

I think we can safely conclude that someone had my number before me.  This woman is clearly getting married, or else has failed to inform everyone that she’s changed her mind.  Also, she enjoys the Cubs and whatever sport they play.  However, she is not me. And none of her friends seem to realize that.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I’ve called folks back and told them I’m not her.  I’ve asked them–begged them–to tell her to let everyone know who has her number that I am not her.  Yet despite this, five months since getting this phone, her friends persist on letting me know how their fittings are going, asking me about mine, and inviting me to ballgames.

So, I think I have a new strategy.  I’m going to accept the invitation for a free ballgame.  And show up.  Me, and not her.  Who knows, maybe I’ll like her groom, too?

😉

Tbilisi Wedding

Tbilisi Wedding

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About sputnitsa

Born in the US, I grew up in Africa and the West Indies, and returned stateside in my teens. After a decade in international development, democracy work, and inclusivity training for domestic NGOs, I joined Peace Corps, and after a year, experienced my first Russian invasion. I followed that up by volunteering with refugees and youth, and after some vacation time climbing minarets and mountains, I returned to New York City, where today I work on social justice with college students, produce short films, and write.
This entry was posted in funny, mistaken identity, odd things, photos, plan b, rhyme & reason, wedding, whatnot and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Congratulations to Me on My Upcoming Nuptials! :)

  1. lucidlunatic says:

    That’s hilarious. Do it. Maybe someone will finally spread the word around that you are, in fact, a different person.

    A question though- how on earth is it possible for her to have had the same number as you, before you had it? Have you called the phone company? My thought is that you two have never had the same number, but perhaps that she accidentally publicized your number instead of her own at some point. There’s probably a single digit’s difference.

    Of course there’s always the possibility that you’re the subject of a huge prank, which would be absolutely hilarious. Particularly if it is the ‘groom’ organizing it. “But we’re already engaged!” could go down in the books as one of the strangest pick up lines in history (outside of Vegas where the ‘engaged’ is exchanged for ‘married’).

    • sputnitsa says:

      Hahahaha!!! That’s hilarious. My mom, I’ll tell you, would be thrilled. 🙂

      Now I’m afraid to go meet this person for the ballgame, lest he not be my fiance. You see, my expectations are truly too high for anyone to meet. 🙂

      I really should call the phone company. One of my many failings is that I hate calling companies of any sort. I just put it off and put it off and put it off. But possibly it’s time to bite it and call.

      But maybe I ought meet my fiance first. 🙂

  2. ralfast says:

    Reminds me of my pager days (I carried two back in the day, plus a brick sized cellphone). The usual messages were:

    “Don’t forget the milk and diapers.”

    “Congratulations it’s a baby boy/girl.”

    “Just so you know, I’m pregnant!”

    And those are a few of the ones I repeat here. What a useless little device that was.

  3. JLC says:

    You are lucky. I usually get phone numbers that once belonged to someone who didn’t pay their bills. Bill collectors are so rude! 🙂

    • sputnitsa says:

      Hahaha! I guess, but I’ve spent so many phone minutes on this person’s life, it’s insane! 🙂

      Not to mention once someone called and left a long message with legal advice for someone else this person knew. I had to call this person back and sound like I hadn’t listened to the whole message, although of course… I mean… It *was* on my machine, right? 🙂

      I gave it all away in the end by saying “I hope [person’s name] gets through this okay.” 🙂

  4. That’s hilarious. I agree that you should show up at the ballgame. The looks on their faces would make it all worth it.

    But then, LucidLunatic may be correct that the joke is on *you*. How is it that none of her friends don’t realize you have a different voice? And if someone tells me I’ve called a wrong number, I don’t tend to keep calling it.

    Ralfast- I would have loved to have seen your face when you received the baby congrats news.

    • sputnitsa says:

      Can you imagine? *imagines* I’ve been chuckling ever since Ralfast mentioned that 🙂

      As for my situation — It’s in part my fault. If the message isn’t urgent (like her wedding dress being ready for a fitting, that one call with legal advice for her friend/fiance/family member, or an elderly lady), I have tended to just sigh and delete. Let’s say I’ve contacted half the folks who’ve left messages. Which means the other half are still my accidental friends, and somewhat hurt that I’m ignoring them. 🙂

      This would be a great joke on me, though. 🙂

      Oh, I got a message last night that there aren’t any more tickets for the ballgame. So I guess I’ve been unceremoniously dumped. 🙂

  5. ralfast says:

    That wasn’t as chocking as the “I’m pregnant” one, for obvious reasons.

    • sputnitsa says:

      You know… I… Can I admit this here? On this wholly private site? *eyeroll*

      Okay, I’m gonna just say it.

      I have an urge to call up strangers and leave messages with their cells, telling them I’m pregnant and we need to talk.

      🙂 Yes, I know. I ought not. But….hee hee…. I mean, come on! Don’t say you don’t want to do it too! 🙂

      Anyway, I blame this unnatural feeling entirely on Ralfast. Yes. I have been corrupted. 🙂

    • ralfast says:

      Wait…shocking! That’s the ticket!

      Although did get choked up a bit.

  6. lucidlunatic says:

    That’s a pity. I was so looking forward to reading about their reactions. I’m all for you responding to the message with something along the lines of, “I’m sorry to hear that, I was really looking forward to meeting you for the first time! Let me know if you can get tickets for a future game.”

    • sputnitsa says:

      Hahaha!!!! Oh man. I’m still chuckling. I should just call them. Excited. And so grateful for the hand of friendship they’ve extended to me, a mere stranger. 🙂

      Well, as I’ve not responded to the ballgame invite, I suppose I may get another.

      Or, of course, slowly this girl’s friends are being turned off her, thinking she’s become aloof. 🙂 Poor girl.

  7. Sputnitsa,

    You could always use this as a starting point for a story. I’m sure if you twisted things around in your head, you could come up with some fun ideas. Maybe your character receives a phone call that’s meant for someone else which leads her into a mystery of some kind…

    • sputnitsa says:

      *gobsmacked*

      Scarlett, has anyone ever told you that you’re a genius?

      *forgets to tell Scarlett because a joyful daze has set in*

      See, now I have an incentive finish my darn WIP…. So I can start this one… (Can you balance more than one at the same time? I’m afraid to…)

      Seriously, things are popping up in my head now. A different style for me… 🙂

      Thanks!!! 🙂

  8. 🙂 Squee!

    Take the idea and run with it! 🙂

    Actually, I prefer to work on one project at a time. I like to work really intensely on something until the characters and everything else become more and more vivid in my mind.

    But others love working on more than one story at a time. So experiment and find what works best for you.

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