Before you send me greetings or astounded messages, let me clarify: I’m not getting married.
However, I have been receiving congratulatory texts for the past three months, not to mention messages on my phone to remind me of my dress fitting. More than one bridesmaid has left me a message regarding her dress. And finally, today, the icing on top of the cupcake. I just got invited to a Cubs game.
Why is that the icing? Because, while there is, I will concede, a tiny chance that I might get married in the near future (near in this case meaning within the next five to ten years), there was before today a precisely 0.0000000000000000000000000000000001% chance that I would willingly go to any professional sports game. Whatever sports game the Cubs play. Particularly with a complete stranger.
I think we can safely conclude that someone had my number before me. This woman is clearly getting married, or else has failed to inform everyone that she’s changed her mind. Also, she enjoys the Cubs and whatever sport they play. However, she is not me. And none of her friends seem to realize that.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve called folks back and told them I’m not her. I’ve asked them–begged them–to tell her to let everyone know who has her number that I am not her. Yet despite this, five months since getting this phone, her friends persist on letting me know how their fittings are going, asking me about mine, and inviting me to ballgames.
So, I think I have a new strategy. I’m going to accept the invitation for a free ballgame. And show up. Me, and not her. Who knows, maybe I’ll like her groom, too?