Kentucky Woman

I have a friend, a great friend, to whom only the strangest things happen.  Maybe you have such a friend too.

She’d moved away from New York in 2007, and we were meeting up again at another very dear friend’s wedding.  It was so wonderful to see her again and enjoy having her special spark light up our city again.

I beamed at her, and finally, when we had a moment to speak, asked how she’d been the past week.

“Oh, God, honey, you wouldn’t believe it.”  (Which is always a rather good start to any story, barring one between hard bound covers, maybe.)

It turns out the Tuesday night before the wedding, she’d gone to bed without locking the front door.  She’s single and has an adorable young son.  He’d crawled into bed with her, and she was happily dreaming away the night when her son tugged at her.

“Mom,” he asked, when he’d gotten her bleary attention, “who’s the man in bed with us?”

Her eyes widened.  She turned her head slowly.  And there, lying next to her, was someone.  Someone she didn’t know.

She leapt from the bed, seizing her son, and ran to her neighbor’s.  The police took her call and escorted the man from her home.

Turns out, he’d not meant to break in to her house.  He’d gone out, gotten drunk, and hadn’t found his way home.  He’d mistaken her home for his, and had undressed and gone straight to bed.  No checking if the furniture (or house layout?) was his, or if, say, the woman in bed was known to him.  He just tumbled in and fell deep asleep.

The police pushed him out of her place so fast, he left his pants hanging on a door knob for her to find the next day.

Poor man.  Imagine having to explain that to his wife/girlfriend/woman who was supposed to be in bed with him.  🙂


So… you got a friend like that, who just has these kind of things happen to them, par for the course?  I love that woman…  I could fill a book with stories about her.


About sputnitsa

Born in the US, I grew up in Africa and the West Indies, and returned stateside in my teens. After a decade in international development, democracy work, and inclusivity training for domestic NGOs, I joined Peace Corps, and after a year, experienced my first Russian invasion. I followed that up by volunteering with refugees and youth, and after some vacation time climbing minarets and mountains, I returned to New York City, where today I work on social justice with college students, produce short films, and write.
This entry was posted in friends friends friends, funny, Kentucky, life, odd things, the unplanned and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Kentucky Woman

  1. T h ë t é e says:

    Is it a true story?
    I don’t have any friend like her…

  2. sputnitsa says:

    Oh, it’s true! And it’s so “her,” if you know what I mean. She’s very flighty and spontaneous, and never, ever on time–except for this wedding–and somehow, she attracts adventure and wildness. 🙂 🙂 🙂 I love seeing her…

    Thetee — what does your name mean, by the way? Is it from somewhere in particular? 🙂 It’s nice to see you back here 🙂

  3. Denoire says:

    Hilarious! I could not stop laughing. An exaggeration on my part since I actually did stop laughing, but in the beginning i just went on and on. “What a mess” as we would say in my country LOL!

  4. sputnitsa says:

    🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 Yep, the woman has her ways 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

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