My book is not going to be obscenely long. It’s not. It just seems that way now.

I know, I know, those of you who are writers are looking at my page count and my word count and are thinking: that’s not uber-long, you poor newbie soul.  But you see, it turns out the book DOES have three parts to it, and I have to tell you, I’m HALF-WAY through it.

Half way.  Do you remember me joyously singing on the rooftops earlier last month about how I was 2/3 through, then 3/4 through?

Yes, I have a word for you.  You can look it up, but you’ve seen it defined right here, on these comely pages:  DELUSION.  Or, if that one’s too long, or has too many Ds for you, there’s also:  ILLUSION.  Then, if like me, you’re feeling particularly effed, there’s:  FANTASY.

All of these words should sound sonorous and melodious, as if sung by a choir on crack.  Only then will they come close to the song in my heart.

*sigh*

Yes, this one will be a long draft.  I blame the government.

Okay, fine, I don’t.  But I do like the line.  Many thanks to Anthony Minghella for giving it to Alan Rickman in the superbly acted, superbly written and superbly cast Truly, Madly, Deeply.  It was–you guessed it–a superb film.  (Don’t read the blurb; just watch it.  The blurb gives away too much.)

I can see why they say first novels take so long to write.  And they are right.  This will take a lot of editing.  It’s not going to be a behemoth when I’m done.  It’s not.

Nope.

No worries.  I’m on the ball.  After all, my greatest personal fear is that I’ll die before it’s done, and my draft will be read.  My elbows quiver.  This cannot come to pass.  And as I cannot shrug off death as a mortal necessity, I must get me back to my book!

Ergo, I leave you now, for more frantic and furious pounding on the keyboard and scribbling of the pen–

 How are your drafts going?

Old and...Older

Just Under Six Thousand, He Said

He was walking up the stairs above me, so he didn’t see my face.

“I’ll think about it,” I said, meaning that I’d spend the evening fantasizing that I had $6,000 (or, as he put it, just under $6,000).  Not to mention a wall to hang the painting.

I’d dragged my friend J out there, taking advantage of her sprightly idea that we go on a road trip.

“Yeah!” I’d agreed enthusiastically, and wrote down the directions to a small town nearby.  She wore a confused frown when she met my eyes, but she agreed.  It wasn’t the hike through the mountains she’d been thinking about, but she knew Dao Hai Phong was my favorite living artist, and if the nearest gallery showing his art was a mini-road trip away–so be it.  She’s good peeps, J.

We pulled up at a large private home.  Phong’s painting was in it.  I couldn’t wait to see it.

We rung the bell, and the hospitable owner emerged.  He showed us rooms upon rooms of art, taking the time to tell us all about the many artists.  He knew I was there for Phong, but he was willing to teach anyone interested in learning.  I can say he made me a fan of others, too.  But still, my heart was in my mouth waiting to see the Phong painting.  Finally, he brought us before it.

It was…breathtaking.

And then they took it off the wall and brought it out onto a patio to see it in full light.  I swear, color filled the world….  It was sheer beauty.  It was….

just under $6,000.

We thanked him, for it was wondrous.  And then we stepped out again.  The sun didn’t dazzle our senses, which were still awash with Phong’s painting.  I wandered to the car in a daze.

Just under $6,000.

I’d just come back to the States from Georgia.  I was still acclimating to credit cards and insulation and air conditioning, not to mention automatically opening and closing doors.  The latter I’d completely forgotten and had literally put down shopping bags to personally battle a door, trying to shut it while it kept opening wider and wider.

In other words, the words “six thousand” just didn’t fit under my tongue or over it, or anywhere near my teeth.  I’d spent almost every last penny of mine doing refugee youth work.  I had, shall we say, under six thousand in the pocket.  Well under six thousand.

I opened the car door and–inspiration!–my heart leapt.  I shot a gleeful glance at J.

“I have the most brilliant idea,” I announced, in my usual understated and modest way.

J froze, her hand on the clutch. “You’re not going to…buy it?  For six thousand dollars?”  Her voice was a horrified whisper now.

“No, better.”

She shook her head mutely, and didn’t pull out of the driveway.

“Six thousand,” I said. “That’s a lot of money.”

“A lot,” J agreed.

“For six thou, one could fly to Vietnam itself, see it, stay a week or two.”  I paused for a beat. “J, I bet we could do all that for HALF the amount.”  She was breathing again, so I spoke genius idea two. “And with the other $3K, I’m telling you, I bet I could find the artist and buy another painting.”

Now, I’m sure you’re thinking that’s mad.  I wouldn’t blame you, really, considering I was discussing $6,000 which I didn’t have.  (And incidentally, still don’t.)

But what’s great about J (among other things), is that in response she said (and I quote), “That’s a brilliant idea!”

There’s just something in the blood of a true traveler, that such an idea can be found not just worthy, but truly worthy.  As in put-it-in-our-calendars worthy.

And thus was the great trip to Vietnam agreed upon in blood.  Well, imaginary blood.  Somewhat like my $6,000.  Still, when I DO get $6,000, provided Juliet Stevenson and Alan Rickman are not acting on a stage I can drive or fly to, Vietnam’s on the horizon, baby.  Vietnam.  Because they have a painter I musts meet and a painting I would love to see hang in my own home.

Ought I not be above material possessions?  But his art is about mood and beauty, and is a breath of that most incredible of things: art.

And now, some art by my man, Dao Hai Phong:

Dark Nights - Dao Hai Phong

Lotus Season - Dao Hai Phong

Flower Vendor - Dao Hai Phong

title unknown - Dao Hai Phong

Two Boats - Dao Hai Phong

Two Trees - Dao Hai Phong

Highland Scenery - Dao Hai Phong

Uh…  So if you have a spare $6,000…and have already paid off your school loans and put aside money for your children’s college tuition and your parents retirement as well as yours, and have given away loads to help inner-city youth, children of the incarcerated, abused creatures of all sorts, the homeless and the hungry, etc, etc…  You know what I wouldn’t mind for my birthday

The Benefits of a Healthy Appetite for Cheesecake, Wine and Snape; or, Another Sane Post by Yours Truly

Now, it’s not news to anyone that I love Snape/Alan Rickman/Harry Potter.  Nope.  Nor, I find, that I love wine and cheesecake. So it’s time to come clean.  I have valuable news for all of you fans looking to drop a pound or more.

Ahem.  A diet is only as good as the dieter.  So how can you be a good dieter?  Why, pick the diet that works for you!

Dear Reader, the following two are my favorite diets ever…

The Cheesecake and Wine Diet (Lost 27 pounds on it), a Reward-Based Diet

This may not be an orthodox diet.  Wait, it’s definitely not an orthodox diet.  But it’s certainly balanced, for it balances cheesecake with…you guessed it–wine.

The idea is this.  Once a week, meet a friend for wine and cheesecake out.  Why out?  Because if it costs more, you’ll only have one piece of cheesecake.  That evening, you may not eat dinner.  The cheesecake is your dinner.  Result?  Deliciousness.  And sometimes weight loss can also occur.

Granted, this may depend on you following another, more stringent diet on the side.  As in, on the other 6 days a week.

The Alan Rickman Diet (Weight loss, unknown. Commitment, complete.), a Reward-Based Diet

This one’s new; I’m on it now.

Here’s how it works:  No Alan Rickman (and therefore no Snape and no second viewing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows) until I have followed these five rules for two weeks straight.

Rule 1:  No cake or cake-like products.
Rule 2:  No chips or chip-like products.
Rule 3:  No hummus.
Rule 4:  No second helpings.
Rule 5:  No larger first helpings to make up for missing second helpings.

And can I tell you–I DON’T CHEAT.  Why?  Because I don’t want to feel BAD enjoying Alan Rickman/Harry Potter.  :)

I started July 15th, 9:30pm.  I get to watch him/HP again starting July 29th, 9:30pm.  I shall post on the 30th as to my success. I bet you I make it. Because who could fail such a worthy endeavour?  (cue celestial music)

As I said to a colleague of mine, B, just today:  ”Who am I kidding–Even if I don’t lose any weight at all, the reward for this self-restraint is a solid two hours of Harry Potter.  And that’s reward enough.”  :)

And there you go.  Another sane and timely post by yours truly.  :)

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, or, Yay, Snape is BACK! :)

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince RAWKED.

Rickman takes Snape to a whole new level.  Now, everyone knows I love Snape, and there can’t be a disparaging word said about Rickman’s acting by anyone with a funny bone to tickle and a self to menace, so let’s leave him for a moment and turn to the others.  (Yes, just a moment.)

The kids.  Holy crap, but Radcliffe and Grint upped their game in this one!  Radcliffe still doesn’t know what it means to cry, apparently; he’s stiffer than an Inferi trying to do so.  But barring his fear of crying, he’s improved so very much, it’s astonishing.  Almost my first words whispered after the film started were a surprised “but he can act now!”  Very great.  Grint brings Ron to a new level too, finally blending comedy with sincere emotional grounding.  And Emma Watson, well, she could always act.  :)  Tom Felton finally shows what’s what, too.  Great Draco, great bathroom scene.  Uber impressive.

Need I say Maggie Smith, Michael Gambon and the regular cast were spectacular as usual?  Yes?  Okay, they were.  And Jim Broadbent–!!!  That man is magic, wizard or no.  He was beautiful, magnificent…just perfect as Professor Slughorn.

But eff the acting, anyone going to see the movie knows exactly on what par this troupe of British actors are.  (The highest.)  The real question for any fan is:  does the movie do the book justice?

It does.

SPOILERS FOR BOTH THE MOVIE AND BOOKS SIX AND SEVEN FOLLOW:

Best Scene:

After seeing Pensieve Slughorn reveal Horcrux information to a young Tom Riddle (brilliantly cast), Dumbledore sinks to sit on the ground.   Harry asks if Horcruxes can be anything at all.  Dumbledore says yes, but that dark magic always leaves…a mark. He’s risen during this speech, and is staring deeply at Harry.  He tells him he thinks he’s found another one, but he can’t destroy it alone.  The next scene is them heading off to leave Hogwarts for the RAB Horcrux.

What’s amazing about this scene?  While Harry (and the non-reading viewer) thinks Dumbledore is speaking of the Horcrux they’re about to go after together, he’s not.  Dumbledore is discussing Harry.  Harry as a Horcrux.  That’s why he sinks to the earth, and why he looks at Harry–his lightning scar–as he speaks of dark magic leaving a mark.  And if that’s not clearly enough foreshadowed, the script calls for Harry touching the Slytherin ring and feeling a zap of darkness.  Brilliant writing.  I feel it’s not written into the book that way, but I’ll have to check.

Worst Failing (IMHO):

There is no battle at Hogwarts in the movie, and the anguish and fury on Harry’s side at Snape’s betrayal, and Snape’s meltdown in his final showdown with Harry…are missing.

Rowling writes a magnificent scene into the end of HBP drawing a strong parallel between Fang, trapped in Hagrid’s hut, which is ablaze and threatens to destroy him alive, and Snape.  Snape has just killed the only man who ever trusted him, the only man who ever really knew him, the only man who cared for him–at this man’s own urgent, secret request.  No-one will ever know.  He’s alone, he has no-one to turn to, no friend on earth, no-one.  Only the end to contrive, hidden in the evil background.  It’s heartbreaking.  It’s vivid.  It’s raw.  And in the film, it’s missing.

In the book his emotional turmoil is powerful.  Harry is beyond reason too, throwing hex after hex at Snape.  Snape effortlessly deflects them, and taunts Harry to conceal his emotions or he’ll never win.  Then Harry summons up a curse he learnt from the Half Blood Prince’s potions book.  Snape deflects it too and cracks.  You dare cast my own spell on me, he snarls, revealing that he is the Half Blood Prince.  Harry, who’s shunned anything ever taught him by Snape, has improved in potions and, sadly, in the dark arts too, by connecting with a younger and more inventive Snape via his old high school potions book.

Again, Snape turns to escape, but Harry calls him a coward.  Snape snaps.  He loses it, on par with his Shrieking Shack scene in the third book.  Don’t call me a coward! he shrieks into the wild air between them–and casts his first and only curse on Harry.  It stings, and Harry’s thrown back, his wand falls out of his hand.  Snape runs away with the other Death Eaters, trapped in a future that must burn him to the ground soon, and no-one will ever know that it killed him to kill Dumbledore.  His grief, his loyalty, his love, his commitment must all be hidden without a murmur.

What a scene, what power, what intensity, what visceral power…  But it’s not done that way in the movie.  *sigh*  Ah well, win some, lose some.

Overall, however, the movie was fabulous.  Snape, as another blogger mentioned earlier, holds his pauses as long as he damn well pleases, and is sheer beauty to watch.  The cast feels 100% real and comfortable in their roles.  The kids are in high school now, and everything from their antics and emotions, to the natural lolling about of their classmates, is perfect.  Hogwarts, Hogsmeade and London are fabulous.  The movie is MAGIC.

Highly recommended

(If you’re into the bad boys of Harry Potter or literature in general, here’s another post you might like to read…and to share your thoughts on!)